Ever since I heard about “influencers” and “content creators” as jobs, I thought they were ridiculous. Content creators and influencers are narcissistic, peanut-brained Millennials and Zoomers who spend their days giving cosmetics and fashion advice, making cringe hip-hop videos, peddling Hallmark affirmations and dispensing bro culture from the manosphere.

This morning I had a shocking realization: It’s me. I’m a content creator and influencer. I write reports and articles and host webinars and influence decisions about networking and cloud technology.

Do I need to start wearing a sideways baseball cap and gold chains?